We've had our ice cream maker for about 8 years.
We used it 5 times. Tops.
Over past a few days as I've been looking at it, I noticed the visions of possibilities that come to mind:
There's us making ice cream with our nephews.
And us making ice cream from scratch, healthy and packaging-free.
And there we are, feeling self sustainable and self sufficient.
Visions are inspiring and bring a smile to my face.
"I need this machine in my life!"
Next comes guilt:
"Why haven't we ever made ice cream with the boys?"
"Why do we keep buying ice cream instead of making our own?"
"What's wrong with us that we don't make the effort? Others do! I've seen it on Pinterest!"
Guilt doesn't make me feel good, so I walk away, attempting to save my self-worth, promising myself that tomorrow I will do things differently.
Truth is, I've been telling that myself for years and I still haven't found the time or the desire to put in the effort.
This time is different.
This time we're moving, so everything is seen through an added lens.
A very valuable lens called "Am I willing to pack it, move it, and then re-house it?"
This time around, through the clouds of hopes and dreams, the answers is clear.
I pause pondering the consequences of such answer and realize that it doesn't mean I give up on having a fun time with the boys and cooking home-made meals with them (which is what we do every time they're in our house).
Nor does it mean that we will no longer cook homemade meals and instead rely on processed packaged foods.
And it doesn't even make us less self-reliant.
What it does make us is more clear that we're no longer willing keep things that cause us (or at least me) guilt and regret.
It makes us honest about the things we're willing to invest our time and efforts into, and that ice cream just happened to be not one of them.
It makes me kind toward myself enough to forgive that mistake of purchasing another gadget I will never use (was totally my idea) and loving myself enough to correct it by finding it a new home.
The moment I take the machine out of the kitchen cabinet and put it in the donation pile I breathe easier.
Another burden relieved.
I feel lighter and somehow more spacious with space discovered somehow disproportionately larger than that occupied by the ice cream maker.
Next comes a burst of excitement at the possibilities of being more creative with the boys and my own desserts, no longer tethered to the gadget and its promises of happiness and satisfaction..
I feel free.
Ice cream maker anyone?