Teach kids confident decision making by teaching them to declutter.
Decluttering means making decisions.
"No, you don't get to keep everything. Only the important things"
See discomfort and confusion?
Teach them to navigate those feelings.
Discomfort and confusion are not scary, inability to recover from them is.
Let's be honest, adulthood is full of uncomfortable experiences - disappointments, heartbreak, etc.
But along with disappointments come successes, accomplishments, and growth.
The same way you taught them to get up again and again while learning to walk, now teach them to let go of things again and again. To make decision, to own their choices, to feel confident.
Very soon they'll have to decide what clases to take, what boy or girl to date, what college to go to and whom to marry. Give them the skills to navigate those decisions. Start small, start today.
Every house I ever enter for work is introduced by its owner in the same fashion:
"Come in. Sorry it's a mess. It must be the worst you've ever seen?"
Regardless of the size, price, and an actual presence of a mess, each house is claimed to be the worst by its 'proud' owner.
Unfortunately, each time I have to disappoint them:
"No, it's not."
And I'm not lying.
Because if what you compare your house to are the photos in the magazines, Social Media, and in the TV shows;
If without any facts or evidence you believe that everyone else is doing a better job at organizing and keeping their homes organized than you do;
If you compare what people show on the outside - staged to impress beauty, with how you feel on the inside - reality of a daily life
You believe in a lie.
Real life is messy, and busy, and far from perfect.
And while it's great to get inspired by the beauty and perfection of someone else's space, remember that those moments were created by a team of experts.
Your home is not the worst I've seen.
Your home is a step away from YOUR incomparable, one-of-a-kind, unique best.
Nina George's book "Little Paris Bookshop" spoke frankly of the ways we bury ourselves while still alive, refusing to feel joy and pleasure, fulfillment and satisfaction just to obey some old beliefs.
I see this pattern way too often in my clients' houses and her quote resonated deep within:
"Love is a house. Everything in a house should be used - nothing mothballed or 'spared'. Only if we fully inhabit a house, shunning no room and no door, are we truly alive. ...We must use absolutely everyone of love's rooms. If not, ghosts and rumors will thrive. Neglected rooms and houses can become treacherous and foul."
Ghosts and rumors definitely do thrive in houses unused.
Whether unused to preserve, to avoid, or to keep 'just in case', whatever the reason, unloved houses are filled with ghosts of the pasts, leaving no room for the present; filled with rumors, doubts, and fears of what might have been or should be, leaving no room for the clarity and truth of the now.
Open each door. Enter every room.
Tomorrow is not promised.
Today is the only place where you can truly live.